The Free Associator

The Philadelphia Syndicate is a collection of writers, businesses, artists, musicians, and activists based in Philadelphia, with connections to associates around the world via the internet. This publication is produced by members of the Syndicate's private online discussion forum for the purpose of giving exposure to the organization's thinkers to the public.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Diet Relief –


On a personal note, I have been on a diet for a couple of days now for one reason or another. Anyway today was relief day where I got to splurge a bit. And I can’t remember a time I was more influenced in a decision to purchase one form of junk food over another (regardless of my personal taste) based solely on a television advertisement.

How could I resist the Bacon Cheddar Ranch Angus Burger from Burger King. The ad has everything. Darius Rucker (from Hootie and Blowfish) dressed in a gay cowboy outfit singing a modified hobo song (original lyrics here) with Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders dancing the praises of bacon, various other cheap set designs, and completed with the imposition of the word “caboose” in the song simultaneously with a blow up image of a girl’s ass bent over a crank handle on hand rail car.

Here is my review – If you can handle the 750 calories and 35 grams of fat it is Sooooo worth it. The gristle of grade D cheap burger meat is masked by the potpourri of flavors. Ranch dressing tops out the ensemble cementing the delicate raw onion, cheese, tomato and meat flavors into a unified front. Finally, indulgently supplied bacon, smoked to perfection, leaves the palate with gentle oak notes on the finish of each bite. Rinse with Dr. Pepper and repeat.

BTW the last time a television ad actually influenced my purchase was the series of ads for Herbal Essence shampoo with all the girls having “fake” orgasms in the shower. The British site has their new conditioner TV spot for the corresponding conditioner, providing the showerant with a second go around (similar to the original US ads). How the hell else am I supposed to pick a shampoo when faced with 100 equally cheap and equally effective products?


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